The first book by Yvo ter Maat

Nobody Understands You

Why words never arrive the way they left

You hear your words with your meaning attached. Everyone else just hears the words.

Coming as an ebook and a paperback, in English, Dutch and Spanish.

Cover of Nobody Understands You: on an Amsterdam bike lane, a woman talks excitedly to a man who cups his hand behind his ear.
Cover illustration: a woman laughs as she talks to a man across an Amsterdam bike lane. He cups his hand behind his ear. Between them pass cyclists and a cargo bike with children.
She says something. He hears something. Amsterdam rides by in between.

You said it clearly. Something else arrived.

Nobody Understands You is about the space between what you mean and what the other person hears. At work, at home and in your own head. With real stories, backed by research, and the popular myths left out.

More about the book

In this book you’ll discover

  • Why things go wrong most often at home, with the people closest to you.
  • Why a word as small as “done” means four things to four people at one table, and the kindergarten question that brings the difference to light.
  • Why communication isn’t 93 percent nonverbal, and why we believe it anyway.
  • What a single word can do to your shoulders.
  • How half a language makes you a better listener than a whole one.
  • Why a machine that hears only your words can be the clearest mirror you have.

From chapter 1

People tapped out the rhythm of a well-known song on a table and expected the listener to guess it half the time.

Want to know how often the listeners actually recognized the song?

Two and a half percent. Out of a hundred and twenty songs, three were guessed.

Read why

The writer who decided he couldn’t write

At seven I decided I couldn’t write. So I didn’t. More than forty years later I made a book anyway. I didn’t write it. I spoke it, on long walks, into a little recorder.

I live in Amsterdam and have worked as a project manager and consultant for more than twenty years. That work has taught me a lot about language: how one word can mean something slightly different to everyone at the table, and how a good question brings that difference to light.

More about Yvo

Be the first to hear when it’s out

As soon as the book can be ordered, I’ll send you the link.

A question or a comment? Feel free to email me at [email protected]